Want a new bike? Trade your car in at Tour de Fat this weekend!

This weekend New Belgium’s Tour de Fat is stopping off in Denver’s City Park as a part of their 12 city tour to benefit bike awareness in local communities. The fest will feature live acts from vaudevillian performers, musical acts from bands like He’s My Brother, She’s My Sister and Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, a huge lineup of New Belgium brews, and a showing of some rather unique human-powered ambulations.

The other noted highlight of the Tour de Fat? The car-for-bike exchange. We all know someone (or are the someone) with a 4 MPG beatbox of a vehicle that probably needs to be brought to a quiet corner of the pasture and put down. You know the kind: missing pieces of the floorboard, a cassette of The Proclaimer’s Sunshine on Leith album stuck in the tape deck, family of raccoons living in the trunk. Hell, you may even be sick of trying to find street parking in Capitol Hill or are always forgetting what day street-sweeping occurs and finding yourself with a $50 parking ticket. So why not trade in that heap for $2,250 in credit to build your own commuter bike?

$2,250 is not only more than you would likely get for that car, but it can also buy you a lot of bike. Interested in taking the plunge? Get in touch.

tour de fat fort collins

from Newbelgium.com

For those who are just interested in an awesome Saturday in the Sun (and who isn’t?) Tour de Fat parade registration starts at 10 A.M., parade kicks off at 11 A.M. and the festivities and libations go from noon to five P.M. Word of caution to the rest: the parade will be closing down a chunk of 17th Ave between Colorado and Monaco on Saturday morning.  All proceeds from parade registration, beer sales, merch sales, and the car-for-bike trade will go to benefit local bike-centric non-profits bikedenver.org and the Denver Cruisers.


Tour de Fat 10 Commandments

1. Put no means of transport before thy bike: Come by bike because not only are bikes fun, but they help stave off some of our most wicked ills: Traffic, laziness, and pollution. Tour de Fat has a solution: ride this day, every day, and definitely when Tour de Fat heads your way.

2. Honor all other bikes: All bikes are good bikes, and all those who ride them are good people. This is the one Bike Festival that cherishes bicycle diversity on our Cruise-ade through town.

3. May every generation come forth: This is a family friendly event. Costumes, bikes and a parade? We were thinking like kids when we created Tour de Fat.

4. Thou shall come as a participant not a spectator: It’s a costumed celebration of human-powered transportation. Muscles not motors, coasters, v-brakes and rotors. Come in your favorite alter ego, because when everybody’s weird, no one is.

5. Thou shalt not bring booze; But enjoy the supplied malted adult refreshments responsibly: Please do not bring any outside alcohol on the ride or into the park. It could result in getting the event shut down…don’t be that guy. And when you imbibe in our tasty brews, remember this is a Bicycle Festival with beer, not the other way around.

6. New Belgium shalt not profit: Our goal is to raise money for bicycle and environmental charities. New Belgium Brewing Company does NOT retain any of the events’ proceeds. Please think of your $5 beer tokens as donations to a worthy cause. All sales are final; beer tokens do not expire and will be accepted next year (does not include TEXAS).

7. Remember the purpose, and bring not your pooches: No canine friends allowed this year. We’re a dog-loving Brewery, but sadly not all municipalities and parks are. Please leave your best friends at home for their safety and the safety of others. Besides, it’s not much fun for dogs with all the noise and crazy people around.

8. Keep the day true with thy good juju: The ride is free, but we suggest a $5 donation to the good bike advocates who are putting it on for you (does not include TEXAS). If you give more, you will not incur flats, mechanical troubles, or dry skin for a while…maybe. This is a celebration of the bike, not an anti-car rally. All tools have their place.

9. Thou shall rise early: Since Tour de Fat is a free show, we sometimes get more folks than we can accommodate. Once we’re full, we will handle overflow like a restaurant or bar: one in, one out. We reserve the right to determine the appropriate crowd size in the name of safety and enjoyment for those inside.

10. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbors’ bike: Don’t even think of leaving with a bike that doesn’t belong to you. Modern-day horse thieves will be dealt with by angry mob, pitchforks, and torches.


About David Pennington

Denver based writer and editor. Managing Editor of Denver Off The Wagon. Usually up to some kind of delinquency. Photos of dogs, beer, and gnarly knee scars over at http://bendandbrew.com