Assuming that the world did not, in fact, end on the 21st (is this real? or are we in the matrix?), we’re pretty sure that you’ll be looking for a way to celebrate the fact that you’re still alive December 31st. Whether or not you wish yourself dead on the morning the first of the New Year is completely up to you. Until then, here is a nice list of the events to attend, drink until 12 am, and then make out with someone that you wouldn’t lock lips with in your worst nightmare. Why shouldn’t you? It is a New Year and, goddammit, you will not be left out of the giant orgy of festivities happening all around the world at the stroke of midnight.
It’s cool; your secret is safe with us.
- Prost Brewing Co: These guys are actually having a New Year’s Eve party. For $25.13, you get three core beers and a drink for the beer toast at midnight, plus a German buffet. Our guess: it will involve a lot of meat.
- Great Divide Brewing Co: They’re keeping their tap room open until about 12:30 or so and having a midnight release and toast with their newest seasonal: Orabelle Belgian-Style Tripel
- Denver Beer Co: These guys also have a late night at their tap room and a free midnight tapping of a firkin of their Chocolate Graham Cracker Porter.
- River North Brewery: The taproom will be open until 9 pm, when the whole clan will be migrating to Lucky Pie in LoDo, where they’re taking over 6 taps and supplying the booze for a four course beer dinner ($75).
- Star Bar: Ok, it’s not technically a brewery, but they have some of the most delicious microbrews available, plus we heard through the grapevine that the Switchyard Social Club will be playing there as well.
- White Rose Gala, $59-$99: For you southsiders, the White Rose Gala takes place at the Hilton DoubleTree in the DTC and this year’s theme is Theatre de Marionette. We’re no language experts, but think that translates to Marionette Theater. It should be a surreal trip to witness the pageantry that happens during the night.
- Crowne Plaza NYE Block Party, $49-$79: What better place to binge drink until you can’t see straight, then at a hotel? All you have to do is stumble to an elevator and get your room key to function properly in the door. This event hosts about 6,000 people and features go-go dancers and DJs and probably lots of making out with strangers and other regrettable decisions.
- Denver’s Grandest NYE Party, $139: Ring in the New Year in LoDo and maybe avoid some of the more douchetastic bars by going to this shindig. They have three different party rooms with varying music and the ticket includes an open bar, buffet dinner and champagne toast at midnight. They’ve pretty much taken care of everything so all you have to stuff your face and down your drinks.
- NYE Penthouse Party, $60-$120: No, it’s not the girlie magazine, but this Penthouse party will have some pretty stunning views of the fireworks downtown. This fiesta takes place on the 37th and 38th floors of the Grand Hyatt.
- Decadence, $50-$150: It’s at the Colorado Convention Center and from what we understand, it’s a lot of “unch, unch, unch” and then “wub, wub, wub” sort of music. So there will be a lot of dancing and probably a lot of other substances involved along with alcohol. This is one of those parties that almost guarantee you’ll wake up covered in glitter the next day.
- Midnight at the Library, $85: What’s sure to be a fancy shindig, with cocktails furnished by Peach Street Distillers, Roundhouse Liquors and Breckenridge Distillery, Midnight at the Library takes place at the McNichol’s Building (home of the first ever Denver [only] Beer Festivus just a week ago). Dance, drink and enjoy at this 1920’s themed party. All proceeds from the event benefit the S.O.U.L. Foundation.
- Best New Year’s Eve-r, $60-$75: Laugh it up before you ring in the New Year in a more casual setting. The Impulse Theater puts on an improv show and then you get dinner at the Wynkoop or you get dinner at the Wynkoop and then a show. It sounds hilarious. We just hope you don’t wet yourself after all that drinking you were doing before the show.
- Zoo Year’s Eve, $10: For those of you who just can’t stay up past midnight anymore or if you’ve got the young ‘uns, this is a pretty sweet event. It’s basically Zoo Lights, but with a countdown at 9 PM so the kids can yell “Happy New Year!” as loudly as possible in your ear and then you can go home and go to bed at a sensible hour. Protip: You can bring your own thermos into the zoo. We recommend Irish Coffee or Hot Toddies.
- String Cheese Incident, $55-$75, 1st Bank Center
- Amon Tobin, $40-$60, City Hall
- The Lumineers, $26, Ogden Theater
- Five Iron Frenzy, $35-$50, Casselman’s
- 3OH!3, $30, Gothic Theater
- Slim Cessna’s Auto Club, $25-$35, Oriental Theater
- The Black Angels, $20-$40, Bluebird Theater
Above all, we know that New Year’s Eve is typically a night of excess for many of you and while we love our booze and we know you do too, we urge you to be safe. Have a safe ride home lined up with a DD, cab or, if you’re being fancy, a limo and if you don’t, for crying out loud, just get a hotel room. Trust us, it’s cheaper than a DUI and the cops will be out in force on NYE.