Liquor Based Aphrodisiacs

Green Chartreuse With Valentine’s Day slowly approaching, you may have some naughty ideas in store for your partner(s). There are plenty of things you can do to set the mood before you get “comfy”, like lighting some candles, or playing the silky dark chocolate voice of Barry White- but what better than igniting the fire below with a little booze?

Aphrodisiacs, as consumables, have been used throughout history as a way to enhance desire and to make makin’ sweet love more pleasurable. One of the most common known examples is the oyster, which personally takes me to my happy place- but here, we are focused on items in the liquid state, so below are some libations you can try to kick your libido into overdrive. However, it is important to remember that this is a slippery slope to play on, and over-consumption in any sense can lead to sad, sad things.

Chartreuse: Made by monks that did the freak but didn’t speak, this herbal concoction is in many ways the fountain of youth in regards to stimulation. Chartreuse is particularly high in alcohol, so you don’t need a lot, but its psychotropic properties do a number on the brain. I happen to like the green variety, as it packs more of that tonic punch to the nether regions. As a side note- I have no idea whether monks get freaky or not, but they do know their shit when it comes to distilling.

Stout: Beer may seem like a bust, and your typical routine of slurping 8-10 Coors Original yellow dogs certainly is, but Stout is indeed a wonderful aphrodisiac. The problem with beer is that we, me, people in general drink a lot of beer in one sitting. It is low gravity, so that is good, but peeing every ten minutes is bad because you are losing valuable chemicals to the loo. Drink a good stout, the higher the ABV, the better.

Wine: Probably the perfect marriage of strength and body, (red) wine works well in these situations. It is also classier than banging a shot or sipping a dank brew (depending on your preference), and often pairs nicely with most types of food (stout is delicious with food too, so I am told). To bump up the hump-aid qualities, steep with various herbs/spices, strain, and serve chilled. Nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves are all good choices. If you want to really get wild, try some white port and strawberries. Don’t be afraid to spill.

About Jim Halligan


Jim is a modern day conquistador. When not teaching his three parrots to speak Italian, he spends time poking flags in things and calling them his own.