Like All Good Rock Stars, Thus Dies Rockbar

Earlier this week our friends at the Westword Cafe Society posted a piece about an upcoming transformation of one of the most iconic and ridiculous dive bars in Denver: Rockbar. I linked it to our editor PJ with a large sigh of dismay, and asked if I should write a piece about how terrible an idea this concept seemed to be. I initially decided against it as I’m trying to be less of a judgmental prick (I was raised on the East Coast, what do you expect?).

But after reading the almost unanimously negative comments on that post I think it’s ripe time to say: fuck all that.

This concept that Laird and Morreale are running with is one of the most uninspired restaurant concepts I can think of to date. ANOTHER sports bar? AND ANOTHER burger joint? Really? That’s the best you guys can come up with? This honestly sounds like something that’s more appropriate to an end-cap retail spot in Park Meadows, not on the “longest, wickedest street in America.”

And don’t even get me started on taking one of the better divey-but-not-nearly-as-terrifying-as-Bar-Bar bars in Denver and turning it into haven for chads. Talk all you want about “not fucking with the integrity of Rockbar,” but turning it into a place that will “bleed orange and blue” (yes, you’re probably tasting bile right now) is a complete 180-degrees from where it is now. Anyone who expects the existing crowd at Rockbar to merge well with the typical football fan is naive at best; they’re two entirely divergent cliques. Did you guys not watch any Freaks and Geeks? You can still serve your cheap PBR and MD 20/20 shots all you want, but you need to realize the underlying issue people have with this metamorphosis is not a change in the venue, but a change in the target audience.

One of the suggestions put to me in my aforementioned quest to improve my overly critical attitude is to present a solution, so now’s probably about the right time in this rant to do so: Drop the sports bar angle. Nuke it and send it back to the circle of hell from whence it came because honestly, we don’t need any more of them. Keep Rockbar exactly how it is now, but add a badass kitchen serving the badass burgers you want to serve. Not only will you not be committing murder on an incredibly fun bar, but you’ll be turning it into something that’s unique in our wonderful cow town. There’s not a single dive I’d trust the food from in this city, but if you create it (and keep the douchebags enjoying sports where they should) you will find a loyal and loving customer in me.

About Nick Nunns

Nick loves two things above all others: Beer and heavy metal. He's the owner and brewer at the soon-to-open TRVE Brewing Company. If you get him drunk enough, he will probably raise a toast to a Norse god.

  • Cecil

    One thing Denver has even more of than sports bars: self-satisfied dickheads who want to be in charge of the clubhouse door.

  • Evan

    Eh. The wannabe hipsters (seriously, PBR tastes bad and no amount of irony will change that–so let’s get over it already) that currently hang out at Rockbar are no worse than the douches that will take it over once it becomes a sports bar. How about a bar that doesn’t target a specific clique so we can simply avoid a clash between messenger bag wearing bike kids and embroidered jeans and black button “go out” shirt clad dudes? I avoid Rockbar because of the former, and will avoid it because of the latter.

  • Mike

    This sucks. Nothing against football (I enjoy watching, though I prefer the quietly-at-home route), but like most fans of Rockbar, want nothing to do with any bar that “bleeds orange and blue.” As you so succinctly put it – “fuck all that.”

  • Fletch

    So dramatic… Every person who likes sports is some horrific prep douche? Your pretension is just as bad as the people you say are too pretentious for you.