Denver’s Douchebag-Free Rooftop Patios

Call them what you will: douchebags, d-bags, Joeys, Chads, or a variety of other terms, we prefer to do our drinking in douchebag-free environments.  And so we set out on a quest in Downtown Denver in search of the best rooftop patio that would be “Douchebag” Free. It was quite an adventure and took several weeks.  Here’s the start to our d-bag free rooftop patio research:

The Fainting Goat – 846 Broadway

We started off on a Saturday afternoon quest and found ourselves first at The Fainting Goat on Broadway. The bartender of The Fainting Goat was quite delightful and very knowledgeable in many different aspects of drinking. We had a fantastic Bloody Mary, with a homemade mix.  It was a great mix despite the fact that he doesn’t like Bloody Marys.  Imagine that! We did learn that Service Industry gets 25% off the entire bill every day.  The overall experience was great. The customers there were between their early 30s and early 50s and were very enjoyable to talk to. We will definitely be revisiting The Fainting Goat again.

Patio Douchebag Status: Minimal.

Nallen’s Irish Pub – 1429 Market Street

The second stop was Nallen’s on Market St. I was told they had a rooftop patio but, not so much. Lies! However the weekend daytime bartender, from Ireland, was delightful.

Patio Douchebag Status: N/A.

Pour House – 1435 Market Street

Stop 3 was actually Spill, but they weren’t open for our afternoon patio drinking extravaganza. Onto The Pour House on Market St. They have a great area and extra overflow space for your rooftop experience. I have spent many evenings on this rooftop patio and have had a very different experience than during the earlier hours. I have had interactions with douchebags on numerous occasions at later hours. Daytime or early evening is the ideal time for The Pour House. Bartenders are always very upbeat and have great attitudes. They have local beers to choose from and ohhh the cheese curds.

Patio Douchebag Status: Time Dependent. Minimal during daylight.

The Tavern at LoDo – 1949 Market Street

Great space, huge bar, but full of a bunch of 20-somethings. Douchebags always on the prowl for fresh meat. After visiting this place a few times, I’ve yet to have an enjoyable experience. I have had guys actually say “Hey how about you buy me a drink?” What? Are you kidding me? If that doesn’t make you a d-bag I don’t know what does.

Patio Douchebag Status: High.

Ale House at Amato’s – 2501 16th Street

New place, new rooftop. Our overall time spent at the new Ale House at Amato’s in the Highlands was nice and enjoyable. It is hard to get a seat on the rooftop patio due to its first-come first-serve basis. I went there on a Saturday afternoon and it was full of couples and friends having a great time. Now when the sun goes down it turns into a completely different experience with cougars searching for their prey and douchebags on the move. It is a hunting ground for both the young and the old.

Patio Douchebag Status: Time dependent – daylight is safer.

LoDo’s Bar & Grill – 1946 Market Street

Downstairs was nice and quiet. We soon heard the all the noise and ventured up to the rooftop patio to investigate. It happened to be the Kentucky Derby, and what a show was going on up there! Beer Bongs, Keg Stands and douchebags holding the girls legs and looking up skirts. Most defiantly not douchebag free.

Patio Douchebag Status: Exceedingly high.

Spill – 1410 Market Street

The last stop was Spill on Market St. They have a great lounge style rooftop patio with a small bar and an always smiling bartender. Spill can vary depending what day you go, and the rooftop patio is not always open but, once again it is not douchebag free. Guys with too much cologne, tight jeans, imported Italian shoes and always a Joey Tribbiani in the crowd saying “How you doin?” This is Denver guys, not NYC.

Patio Douchebag Status: Jersey Shore levels.

It appears that douchebags, like vampires, come out at night.

As this experience and adventure ends I hope that this can lead you on a guide of where you can go and would like to drink in Denver on some of the best rooftop patios and  you can do it douchebag-free! Our livers and wallets only let us explore Downtown for this adventure, but there are plenty more spots throughout Denver to enjoy a warm breeze with good people.

What are your favorites?

About Dina Ramsted

Dina has a history of pouring great drinks. She can currently be found behind the bar at Star Bar.

  • John

    Lydia. this is awesome! best beer blog ever!

    • Tan the Man (my d-bag covername)

      Have to agree John! Hat tip to you Lydia!


      • Lydia

        Can’t take any credit except for being a PIC on this one. My girl Dina from Star Bar is the author and photag!

  • Mike

    Pour house is very time dependent – last time I was there was late afternoon after a Rockies game and it was mostly Rockies fans on the patio – however the bartender working that day was a complete douche and ruined the douche free patio experience. The deal is after a game you get two for 1 beers or hard alcohol under a certain amount (8$ or so I think?) Well rather than telling me which whiskeys were under 8$ she made me play the guess game and any time I guess something that was more than 8$ she gave me a completely douchey answer. Take your ticket after a Rockies game elsewhere for a deal.