Remember playing cops and robbers? Once the game got going, there was running, chasing, dodging, ducking all over the place. Maybe you got touched, maybe you got tackled. But there always was a safe zone.
Now that we’re a little “grown up,” we may not play Cop and Robbers (unless it’s a more intimate setting). But we do still need Safe Zones.
Ladies, last week we had an article of the hunting grounds to find men. And sometimes you need a bartender or server on your side. S/he will refuse the table of three guys sending you shots of mind erasers (mainly because they don’t serve that and secondly because that’s not their style) with a gentle, “Sorry gentlemen, the lady is enjoying her gin martini at the moment.”
Here’s where you can sit at the bar, by yourself or with your girlfriend(s), free of the hovering men trying to get in your pants.
1. Colt & Gray (1553 Platte Street #120)
I bore witness to this Women Protection Program. One night, two gentlemen flagged the bartender to buy two ladies a drink. The bartender promptly and subtly asked the ladies if they would like another drink at the courtesy of the buyers, to which they declined. And that was that. Easy, peas-y. Ladies, Kevin, Glenn, and Kelly have your back. So belly-up to the bar, and drink whatever you’d like, laugh however you’d like, ain’t no guy goin’ be able to pick you up in this joint on the fly.
2. Star Bar. (2137 Larimer Street)
There is an exception to this rule: if the certain gentleman is a hyperregular customer, (there may be a tally kept of the hyperregular man’s attempts in garnishing a number from a fair lassie). But just as frequently as they’ve tallied “yes” for “I got her number” they’ve also tallied “no” for, “nope, not here bud.” Ladies, this is a great place to just be friends. Either it’s so chill, it’s just the perfect time to hang out with friends, or it’s so loud you confuse a shouted “can I get your number” with “I’ve got a foot fungus.”
3. My Brother’s Bar. (2376 15th Street)
Whether you’ve Harold, Dwight, or Paul behind the stick, the furthest any guy is going to get in acquiring your number is stopping at playing rock-paper-scissors. This is not a pick-up joint, and you’re there to be with friends, and they’ve make sure that’s what happens. Plus, it’s open late (not on Sundays, though) so after you get creeped out, you can go here to be re-centered and gorge on their made-to-order food, whiskey, and good lagers.
4. Churchill Bar at the Brown Palace. (321 17th Street)
Sure, you’ll get many admiring looks (or looks of “what the hell is she doing here?”), but they’re just that: looks. Just as this is man’s land, you, too, can relax without any moves or motives. Even better, if you’re a scotch or whisk(e)y fan, it’s a great place to try some new ones. Side note: you must like cigar smoke, because it’s, uh, a cigar bar.
5. Falling Rock Tap House. (1919 Blake Street)
Just as Falling Rock Tap House is a Safe Zone for men, it’s a Safe Zone for women. I think we could just call it the ultimate Safe Zone (and we would with the exception of GABF week…). You drink beer, you eat greasy food, you check out the scene, and, hell, you might even shoot some pool. It’s like we’ve transported back to elementary school and the guy groups stay to one side and the girl groups stay to the other side. Don’t cross that line. And it’s all good.
Gentlemen: I know you’re reading this. It’s another inside guide to the psyche of women (and no, we still don’t know what we want). You may try these places, but believe me, they are still iron-clad safe zones. That said, let us do our thing and we’ll meet up another night.
Tags: Brown Palace, Caveau Wine Bar, Churchill Bar, colt gray, Cops & Robbers, dating, denver, Falling Rock Tap House, Interstate Kitchen and Bar, Lala's, Lala's Wine Bar, men, Menver, My Brother's Bar, rackhouse pub, safe zone, Squeaky, star bar, The Squeaky Bean, women